Reblogged from mostly10
(Source: fixedpointintime, via crimson-red)
MOST. EPIC. THING. EVER!
Doctor Who rewritten - Barney Stinson as the Doctor’s part-time companion
Are you there, Lord of Time? It’s me, Barney. What up! Listen, pinstripe-suit up and meet me at MacLaren’s, ASAP. There’s a pack of cheerleaders here, blonde humans mostly, possible parental issues - just your type. I think they’ll be impressed by the power of a certain vibrating tool of yours. Yeah, yeah, I know it doesn’t do wood, but these co-eds will do it for ya, if you know what I’m saying. That’s right - I’m thinking you’ll offer up the usual “Waa, waa, woe is me, I’m the last of my kind and me and my friend here” - that’s me, by the way, I’ll introduce myself as ‘The Master’ - “need your human lady-bits to help repopulate the species” shtick. They’ll be granting us exclusive access to journey within their bigger-on-the-inside boxes in no time. Oh, and bring your brainy specs - ya know the ladies love ‘em - and get ready to knock four times on a bedpost, John Stiff. Tonight’s gonna get your big balls plenty of sexy-oh-yes-y…stuff. And might I say, it’s gonna be legen- wait for it and sorry it’s not a nutrient found in bananas (though yours will be pleasured tonight) because it’s - dairy. LEGENDARY. See ya soon, most hung bro in all the bedrooms.
OH MY GAWD.
